Beyond "Normal"

By definition, “normal” is common, typical and expected. It conforms to a standard. Many small groups in North America are “normal”. Eight to twelve people meet regularly to study the Bible, share, pray together. Often group members meet socially for dinner or a movie or a summer picnic at the beach. Often group members serve the community together through an outreach project or a church initiative.

Nothing’s wrong with normal per se. Many of us would be so happy to have a group experience like that. (Wouldn’t you be thrilled if all your group members even just attended all the meetings?) God has done many great things in groups like these throughout the history of Cornerstone and the Church.

But what if God didn’t create us to be “normal”? What if our experience in community and small groups was to be so much more than what we’ve been experiencing?

Is it possible that there’s more beyond “normal”?

• Is it possible that our curriculum (as good as it is) can actually get in the way of group members “doing life” together?

• Is it possible that meetings can run smoothly (and as planned) but we still miss out on experiencing Jesus’ presence in our group or even forget to check in with Him?

• Is it possible that even with church and small group attendance, our lives and priorities and relationships still look much like those of non-Christians?

• Is it possible that we can do all the “right” things in our groups but still miss out on the life transformation God wants us to experience?

• Is it possible that God has actually designed the quality of our small group experience to impact and bless and attract our neighbours and those around us?

This year at Cornerstone, our Small Groups Leader community will be exploring what it means to go Beyond “Normal” in our experience and thinking of small groups. Through conversations, training, prayer, studies, experiments, etc. we’ll seek God’s vision for biblical community and be encouraged and resourced to take that next step in our leadership and in our small groups.

Please keep this in your prayers and ask that God would lead us closer to discovering and experiencing what it means to live in biblical community.

Looking forward to going on this journey with you.

Jeremy

Why not attend our Praise & Prayer gatherings with your small group?

Over the years, many people have expressed a desire to get together outside of Sunday services to sing and praise God together.

This year we've decided to hold quarterly Praise & Prayer evenings. We want to create these "spaces" to encounter God through worship and prayer!

Why not encourage your small group to attend together?

The Friday evenings we've set aside are:

• February 18th (Cancelled)
• May 27th
• August 19th
• November 18th

What to do with the children during small group meetings?

Are there children in your small group? What are some ways you've tried to run your small group meetings with kids?

Cornerstone has a high children to adult ratio based on Sunday attendance (approx. 1/3 of the attendance is made up of children). More and more small groups are trying to figure out ways to handle the children situation in small group meetings.

Do we provide childcare for them? Do we offer a separate "program" for them? Do we incorporate them into our group meetings?

There is no "perfect" solution. What you decide will depend on a lot of factors like the comfort/preference of parents, the number/age of the children, the dynamics of your group, etc. There will be advantages and disadvantages to every idea which you and your group will have to weigh in on. You may even need to try a few and tweak them before you end up with a solution that works.

Here are some childcare ideas

• Alternate men and women meetings. On one week the men meet while the women take care of the children, then switch. Add a joint meeting where men and women meet together at the end of the month.
• Have children play together in another part of the house unattended.
• Hire a babysitter and have kids play at a nearby location.
• Rotate small group members to handle childcare (on-site or off-site).

Here are some resources for children's programs or incorporating them into small group meetings

• VeggieTales videos or What's In The Bible videos (www.whatsinthebible.com)
• Books, games, puzzles, colouring and craft activities
• Small group study that features separate complementary study for children (requires children's facilitator) - www.lifeway.com/sgl
• Family small group study that includes children -www.saddlebackresources.com/en-US/SmallGroups/BooksoftheBible/LessonsforFamiliesfromGenesis.htm
• Family Small Group DVD studies (poor quality) - www.smallgroupsmaterials.com

Please comment on your experiences with children in your groups. Also, what ideas have you tried that have worked well or not so well?

The end of an era, the beginning of a new one...

Last Friday our small group celebrated our last small group meeting. While it marks an end to our amazing 6 year run as a group and while we won't be meeting with this same group that has become "family", it's also the beginning of many exciting new things!

I'd been said that a characteristic of a great thing is that you want to share it with others. This could describe our experience of community life together. In answer to our prayers, God has raised up multiple leaders from within our group who have expressed a passion and desire for wanting those not connected with a small group to experience community for themselves. And so after much discussion and prayer, this fall our small group will be birthing into 3 groups and will welcome more people into the circle of community!

As we plan for the exciting opportunities ahead, it was also a time for our group to celebrate what God has been doing in our lives. Over dinner, we shared our fondest memories of doing life together over the years. Later, each person got to sit on the "hot seat" while members of our group had the opportunity to express how they've been blessed and encouraged by that person.

We celebrated God's goodness as we remembered how the rlationships in our group played such an important role in the steps of faith and commtiment people have made in their spiritual journey over the years.

How people who only occasionally attended Cornerstone decided to "go all out" for Jesus - including the decisions to get baptized, serve actively in various ministries, even serve on various missions trips. How when people were at their lowest point, they found encouragement, support and prayer from the brothers and sisters in the group to go on. How the example of faith others demonstrated in their lives inspired other group members in their own journey. How we celebrated new births, career changes, weddings, and house moves together. How our group served the community in different ways.

It was a late night with laughter, tears and reminiscing over fond memories and stories. As the 3 new small groups move forward, we know the goal isn't to "replicate" the same experience we've had. But our experience has given us the confidence that God changes and transforms lives in the context of loving and accountable relationships. We're excited about what God will do in htis next season of life and how he will continue to transform even more lives. And isn't that what community's about?

"The Agenda is Prayer" Small Group Challenge!

Happy New Year Small Group Leaders!

As we look forward, there are a lot of exciting opportunities ahead in the New Year! With so many things down the pipe (new Vision/Mission statements, exciting ministry initiatives, further building developments, etc.) God has impressed upon the hearts of many staff and leaders the urgently essential need for PRAYER. To connect and abide in the presence and power of God (John 15:5-8). In fact, we've made PRAYER one of our defining objectives this year and a core value for Cornerstone. Apart from Jesus, we can do nothing!

How often do we fail to tap into this awesome power that God has made available to His people? How often do we neglect to pray or see good intentions get crowded out by other agenda items and the busyness of life? The Apostle James reminds us: You do not have because you do not ask God (James 4:2).

But IMAGINE for a moment
the opportunities God would open up...
the lives that could be changed...
the impact that could be made in our community for God...
if we simply carved out time to pray together in our groups.

Wouldn't you want to be part of this prayer movement? Wouldn't you want your prayers to be a catalyst for God's Spirit to move in our community?

Take "The Agenda is Prayer" Small Group Challenge!

• Talk (and pray) with your small group about taking the challenge.
• Look at your schedule and sign-up for 1-5 months where the agenda for your small group meetings during this time will be simply to pray.
• Pray in your small group meetings. Pray for the needs of your members. Pray for specific ministry requests that will be provided by the church. Try creative prayer exercises and ideas (provided by Pastor Jeremy) that can stretch and challenge the way you pray.
• Debrief your experience and celebrate how God is answering prayers and growing your faith!

Let's go on this faith journey together!

Interview with a Small Group Leader (Irene Wong)

Small Group Leader Interview with Irene Wong

Tell us briefly a bit about the small group you're currently leading.

I'm leading a family-focused small group consisting of 6 couples and their children (there are 9 and counting!) We've been meeting for approximately a year now.

How long have you been a small group leader at Cornerstone now?

I've been a small group leader for close to 7 years now.

How did you first get involved with small group leading?

I first got involved with small group leading when my small group at the time had decided to end. I was challenged by my small group leader to think about leading a new small group as there was a need for it. I remember my initial thought was a definite "no" as I did not see myself as "leader material". I didn't consider myself as a person who was dynamic, outgoing, good at speaking in front of people, or have extensive Bible knowledge, etc. - all qualities that I attributed to being a good leader. I'm more quiet, shy and introverted and often have difficulty remembering the simplest of Bible verses. My small group leader encouraged me by helping me to see that being a good small group leader was not so much about me but that it was simply having the desire to obey and serve God. He saw potential in other qualities I had and helped me to see that God could use them to benefit and encourage others. He also suggested that I could receive Turbo Training (small group leaders' training) to help me build on some of the leadership skills that I felt unsure about (i.e., how to deal with conflict, how to covenant and lead discussions and bible studies). I eventually agreed to co-lead a newcomers' small group.

Can you tell us about support you've received that has helped you in growing in your own faith and as a small group leader?

As I had previously mentioned, I received Turbo training which provided the fundamentals of leading a small group. The training highlighted important aspects of small group life and also modeled scenarios that would often arise when leading a small group. It was invaluable in molding my understanding of small groups as well as providing me with skills that I still use now as a leader in ministry and as a teacher professionally. As a small group leader here at Cornerstone, I also have the great privilege of getting support from our small groups coach, Jeremy, on a regular basis. Jeremy holds a VHS meeting for all small group leaders to attend every other month to pray and talk about our small groups. We have the opportunity to share as a community of leaders our struggles, trade ideas as well as give support and encouragement to one another. VHS has helped me grow as a leader because I know that I'm not doing it on my own. I know that I have the prayer support of a coach and other leaders. They are a source of accountability in reminding me to pray, celebrating with me when I've experienced God in my group, and coming alongside me when I'm frustrated or struggling with something. I feel that I've really grown personally as a result of being a part of the VHS community.

Leading a small group obviously takes time and commitment. What are some reasons that you continue to lead a group?

I continue to lead a group because God has used small groups throughout my own life to transform and grow me in my own journey as a Christ-follower. I believe that investing in God's people is something that is close to God's heart and something that He desires from each of us. Those are some of the reasons that I continue to lead a group.

What kind of person do you think would make a good small group leader?

Someone who has a willing heart to serve God and care for others.

What words of encouragement would you give to those people?

As a leader, I definitely don't have everything all figured out. With each group that I've been involved in, God continues to teach me a lot about small group leading and what it means to care for and love others. It's not always easy to do life with others and I confess that there are moments that are difficult and challenging. However, I encourage those of you who are sitting on the fence and trying to decide whether or not to lead a group to go for it. It is all worth it. It is worth every second of time and commitment when you are able to walk alongside someone who tells you that they are growing in their walk with God. It is worth it when you can pray for someone in your group who is discouraged or struggling with something in life and see how God answers prayer and blesses their life. It is worth it because in the end, it pleases God when we help people draw closer to Him. I encourage you not to think about what skills or qualities you lack but to think about how God could potentially use you to transform lives for His glory. Sometimes we get so caught up with looking inward at our weaknesses and seeing how inadequate we are that we forget that God is the one who is ultimately "leading the group". We just need to be obedient, open and committed to letting Him use us.

Pictures from our Small Group Leader Family Retreat

Some pics from our retreat time together...

I've always found that there's something special about "getting away". Food tastes better, conversations go deeper, relational connections seem stronger... Our retreat with some small group leaders and their families was no exception.

We enjoyed time together with our families - we played, we hiked, we ate, we ate so more. And we also experienced some "rich" moments of sharing, worship, prayer with one another. Together, we dreamed about what community could look like in our groups and in our church and what that would mean for our own lives and leadership...

One of the questions we asked and continue to process is:

What would it look like if everyone lived in deep community?

One of the commitments we looked at was:

The circles I lead are going to be "circles of community".

Dream together with us what our communities could not just look like but actually become if we made space in our relationships and in our hearts for God...