Creating Community

As small group leaders, you play an important role in how people experience community at Cornerstone.

There’s a book on my “small group resource” shelf called Creating Community: 5 Keys to Building a Small Group Culture. The promise seems to be that if we can only figure out the right strategies, the right icebreakers, if we can only find the right curriculum and the right people, then we can create this amazing vision called community...

Is that really the case? Can we actually create community? What can we learn about community through the early church?

The gospels actually end showing Jesus’ disciples to be cowardly and weak in their faith and conviction. So how did the early church community get started with these leaders? It happened at Pentecost when the Holy Spirit came and empowered these leaders.

I’m reading a book by Scot McKnight called One Life and in it he writes this about community and the Holy Spirit:

The Spirit whispers community wherever the Spirit goes. Where there is community, there is Spirit. Where there is no community, there is no Spirit. The Spirit brings love, justice and peace – for all in the community. In fact, it takes God’s Spirit to create community because we, no matter how hard we try, we are unloving, unjust and unpeaceful. We need the Spirit to live in community... Community emerges because the Spirit is designed to draw us to God and to one another into a fellowship and community.

I was challenged this morning about how little I’ve been trusting the Spirit to lead and guide me. (I can have a tendency to try making things happen with my own strength and knowledge.) I get busy with lots of things to do. I think I know how to do it, but is that really the case?

Only the Spirit can bring about lasting impact, only the Spirit can change your heart, only the Spirit can create community.

Why don’t you take a moment now to pray for a fresh anointing of the Spirit’s enabling power in your life and ministry?

2011 a year in review and looking ahead to 2012!

Hi,

It's hard to believe Christmas is only a few days away! How ironic that this season can be the time we "crowd out" Jesus the most with all our holiday plans, shopping trips and get-togethers. I know I've been guilty of this! Been making an effort though to spend extended times with Jesus in the morning to restore my tired soul and prepare me to serve Him during the day.

Praying for You!
How is your soul doing? Is it frantic, worried, tired? Is it content, rested, at peace?

Prayed for each of you this morning that the Holy Spirit would fill you afresh with His power and enable you to enter into this season with a worshipful heart!

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

Small Group Highlights for the Year!
God's been doing some exciting things in our small groups at Cornerstone! Some highlights include:

* Turbo Training Group attended by 6 potential leaders! (4 of them are serving as leaders in their respective groups/ministries.)
* 2 new small groups!
* Over 20 people who have connected with new small groups or as "open chair" members!
* 9 Semester Groups offered this year!
* Spring Small Group Leader Retreat (with guest spiritual director).
* Fall Small Group Leader BBQ Kick-off
* VHS is now TRANSFORM
* Exploring the idea of "Missional Small Groups" Together during Transform gatherings

What to Look Forward to in 2012!
Small Group Visits I'd like to visit and meet up with each one of your small groups in the coming year! It will give us a good time to connect, pray and celebrate what God is doing in your groups. I'd like to know how I can support you to be all that God wants you to be.

PLUS, I'd also like to take some time to share with you and have dialogue about "Missional Small Groups". This will be a key goal for our small group ministries in the coming year and will require our prayers and conversations together.

Exploring "Missional Small Groups" in our Transform GatheringsWe will continue to spend time in our Transform Gatherings exploring and sharing about "Missional Small Groups". This will include learning about the three key missional rhythms of group life: 1) Missional communion with God; 2) Missional relating with others; 3) Missional engagement with the world. We will also look at 21 practices that relate to these three missional rhythms. We'll also begin to think and experiment together how we can begin to live this reality out in our lives and in our communities.

Thanks for your faithful service and may the coming year of ministry be our best one yet!
Merry Christmas!

Jeremy
www.cornerstonesmallgroups.blogspot.com

Small Group Serving Opportunity

Hi Leaders,

Serving together as a group is a great way to live out our faith by blessing others. It's also a fun time of building memories as a group! At Cornerstone, we have always "strongly encouraged" our small groups to take initiative and serve in outreach projects together.

Serving OpportunityThe Five with Drive (www.5wd.ca) Warehouse is looking for volunteers for their Local Food Bank Program. These volunteers would help out in a variety of tasks including: unloading a vehicle with food/toys; sorting & packing food/toys; re-organizing the warehouse; stock counting; recycling/making boxes; and other small chores.

One small group from Cornerstone participated in this event last year and there were many encouraging and life-transforming stories of seeing people (and the world) more through God's eyes. Through their service and obedience, God used this experience for those group members to work in their hearts and in the small group in powerful faith-stretching ways!

Dates
These are some of the dates you have to choose from: Dec 8, 9, 13, 14, 16, 19-23. During these times, clients will be coming in to the warehouse to pick-up items.

Location
The warehouse is located at 105 Gibson Rd. in Markham (Warden and Steeles)

Children
While the children aren't allowed to be in the warehouse for insurance purposes, there is a children's room stocked with construction paper, crayons, books, as well as a TV equipped with DVD player. A volunteer(s) from the small group should be assigned to watch the children.

Please talk about this opportunity with your small group and prayerfully consider participating. You can contact Anna Rossi if you're interested or have any questions - jrarossi@hotmail.com.


Thanks.

Jeremy
www.cornerstonesmallgroups.blogspot.com

Beyond "Normal"

By definition, “normal” is common, typical and expected. It conforms to a standard. Many small groups in North America are “normal”. Eight to twelve people meet regularly to study the Bible, share, pray together. Often group members meet socially for dinner or a movie or a summer picnic at the beach. Often group members serve the community together through an outreach project or a church initiative.

Nothing’s wrong with normal per se. Many of us would be so happy to have a group experience like that. (Wouldn’t you be thrilled if all your group members even just attended all the meetings?) God has done many great things in groups like these throughout the history of Cornerstone and the Church.

But what if God didn’t create us to be “normal”? What if our experience in community and small groups was to be so much more than what we’ve been experiencing?

Is it possible that there’s more beyond “normal”?

• Is it possible that our curriculum (as good as it is) can actually get in the way of group members “doing life” together?

• Is it possible that meetings can run smoothly (and as planned) but we still miss out on experiencing Jesus’ presence in our group or even forget to check in with Him?

• Is it possible that even with church and small group attendance, our lives and priorities and relationships still look much like those of non-Christians?

• Is it possible that we can do all the “right” things in our groups but still miss out on the life transformation God wants us to experience?

• Is it possible that God has actually designed the quality of our small group experience to impact and bless and attract our neighbours and those around us?

This year at Cornerstone, our Small Groups Leader community will be exploring what it means to go Beyond “Normal” in our experience and thinking of small groups. Through conversations, training, prayer, studies, experiments, etc. we’ll seek God’s vision for biblical community and be encouraged and resourced to take that next step in our leadership and in our small groups.

Please keep this in your prayers and ask that God would lead us closer to discovering and experiencing what it means to live in biblical community.

Looking forward to going on this journey with you.

Jeremy

Why not attend our Praise & Prayer gatherings with your small group?

Over the years, many people have expressed a desire to get together outside of Sunday services to sing and praise God together.

This year we've decided to hold quarterly Praise & Prayer evenings. We want to create these "spaces" to encounter God through worship and prayer!

Why not encourage your small group to attend together?

The Friday evenings we've set aside are:

• February 18th (Cancelled)
• May 27th
• August 19th
• November 18th

What to do with the children during small group meetings?

Are there children in your small group? What are some ways you've tried to run your small group meetings with kids?

Cornerstone has a high children to adult ratio based on Sunday attendance (approx. 1/3 of the attendance is made up of children). More and more small groups are trying to figure out ways to handle the children situation in small group meetings.

Do we provide childcare for them? Do we offer a separate "program" for them? Do we incorporate them into our group meetings?

There is no "perfect" solution. What you decide will depend on a lot of factors like the comfort/preference of parents, the number/age of the children, the dynamics of your group, etc. There will be advantages and disadvantages to every idea which you and your group will have to weigh in on. You may even need to try a few and tweak them before you end up with a solution that works.

Here are some childcare ideas

• Alternate men and women meetings. On one week the men meet while the women take care of the children, then switch. Add a joint meeting where men and women meet together at the end of the month.
• Have children play together in another part of the house unattended.
• Hire a babysitter and have kids play at a nearby location.
• Rotate small group members to handle childcare (on-site or off-site).

Here are some resources for children's programs or incorporating them into small group meetings

• VeggieTales videos or What's In The Bible videos (www.whatsinthebible.com)
• Books, games, puzzles, colouring and craft activities
• Small group study that features separate complementary study for children (requires children's facilitator) - www.lifeway.com/sgl
• Family small group study that includes children -www.saddlebackresources.com/en-US/SmallGroups/BooksoftheBible/LessonsforFamiliesfromGenesis.htm
• Family Small Group DVD studies (poor quality) - www.smallgroupsmaterials.com

Please comment on your experiences with children in your groups. Also, what ideas have you tried that have worked well or not so well?

The end of an era, the beginning of a new one...

Last Friday our small group celebrated our last small group meeting. While it marks an end to our amazing 6 year run as a group and while we won't be meeting with this same group that has become "family", it's also the beginning of many exciting new things!

I'd been said that a characteristic of a great thing is that you want to share it with others. This could describe our experience of community life together. In answer to our prayers, God has raised up multiple leaders from within our group who have expressed a passion and desire for wanting those not connected with a small group to experience community for themselves. And so after much discussion and prayer, this fall our small group will be birthing into 3 groups and will welcome more people into the circle of community!

As we plan for the exciting opportunities ahead, it was also a time for our group to celebrate what God has been doing in our lives. Over dinner, we shared our fondest memories of doing life together over the years. Later, each person got to sit on the "hot seat" while members of our group had the opportunity to express how they've been blessed and encouraged by that person.

We celebrated God's goodness as we remembered how the rlationships in our group played such an important role in the steps of faith and commtiment people have made in their spiritual journey over the years.

How people who only occasionally attended Cornerstone decided to "go all out" for Jesus - including the decisions to get baptized, serve actively in various ministries, even serve on various missions trips. How when people were at their lowest point, they found encouragement, support and prayer from the brothers and sisters in the group to go on. How the example of faith others demonstrated in their lives inspired other group members in their own journey. How we celebrated new births, career changes, weddings, and house moves together. How our group served the community in different ways.

It was a late night with laughter, tears and reminiscing over fond memories and stories. As the 3 new small groups move forward, we know the goal isn't to "replicate" the same experience we've had. But our experience has given us the confidence that God changes and transforms lives in the context of loving and accountable relationships. We're excited about what God will do in htis next season of life and how he will continue to transform even more lives. And isn't that what community's about?

"The Agenda is Prayer" Small Group Challenge!

Happy New Year Small Group Leaders!

As we look forward, there are a lot of exciting opportunities ahead in the New Year! With so many things down the pipe (new Vision/Mission statements, exciting ministry initiatives, further building developments, etc.) God has impressed upon the hearts of many staff and leaders the urgently essential need for PRAYER. To connect and abide in the presence and power of God (John 15:5-8). In fact, we've made PRAYER one of our defining objectives this year and a core value for Cornerstone. Apart from Jesus, we can do nothing!

How often do we fail to tap into this awesome power that God has made available to His people? How often do we neglect to pray or see good intentions get crowded out by other agenda items and the busyness of life? The Apostle James reminds us: You do not have because you do not ask God (James 4:2).

But IMAGINE for a moment
the opportunities God would open up...
the lives that could be changed...
the impact that could be made in our community for God...
if we simply carved out time to pray together in our groups.

Wouldn't you want to be part of this prayer movement? Wouldn't you want your prayers to be a catalyst for God's Spirit to move in our community?

Take "The Agenda is Prayer" Small Group Challenge!

• Talk (and pray) with your small group about taking the challenge.
• Look at your schedule and sign-up for 1-5 months where the agenda for your small group meetings during this time will be simply to pray.
• Pray in your small group meetings. Pray for the needs of your members. Pray for specific ministry requests that will be provided by the church. Try creative prayer exercises and ideas (provided by Pastor Jeremy) that can stretch and challenge the way you pray.
• Debrief your experience and celebrate how God is answering prayers and growing your faith!

Let's go on this faith journey together!

Interview with a Small Group Leader (Irene Wong)

Small Group Leader Interview with Irene Wong

Tell us briefly a bit about the small group you're currently leading.

I'm leading a family-focused small group consisting of 6 couples and their children (there are 9 and counting!) We've been meeting for approximately a year now.

How long have you been a small group leader at Cornerstone now?

I've been a small group leader for close to 7 years now.

How did you first get involved with small group leading?

I first got involved with small group leading when my small group at the time had decided to end. I was challenged by my small group leader to think about leading a new small group as there was a need for it. I remember my initial thought was a definite "no" as I did not see myself as "leader material". I didn't consider myself as a person who was dynamic, outgoing, good at speaking in front of people, or have extensive Bible knowledge, etc. - all qualities that I attributed to being a good leader. I'm more quiet, shy and introverted and often have difficulty remembering the simplest of Bible verses. My small group leader encouraged me by helping me to see that being a good small group leader was not so much about me but that it was simply having the desire to obey and serve God. He saw potential in other qualities I had and helped me to see that God could use them to benefit and encourage others. He also suggested that I could receive Turbo Training (small group leaders' training) to help me build on some of the leadership skills that I felt unsure about (i.e., how to deal with conflict, how to covenant and lead discussions and bible studies). I eventually agreed to co-lead a newcomers' small group.

Can you tell us about support you've received that has helped you in growing in your own faith and as a small group leader?

As I had previously mentioned, I received Turbo training which provided the fundamentals of leading a small group. The training highlighted important aspects of small group life and also modeled scenarios that would often arise when leading a small group. It was invaluable in molding my understanding of small groups as well as providing me with skills that I still use now as a leader in ministry and as a teacher professionally. As a small group leader here at Cornerstone, I also have the great privilege of getting support from our small groups coach, Jeremy, on a regular basis. Jeremy holds a VHS meeting for all small group leaders to attend every other month to pray and talk about our small groups. We have the opportunity to share as a community of leaders our struggles, trade ideas as well as give support and encouragement to one another. VHS has helped me grow as a leader because I know that I'm not doing it on my own. I know that I have the prayer support of a coach and other leaders. They are a source of accountability in reminding me to pray, celebrating with me when I've experienced God in my group, and coming alongside me when I'm frustrated or struggling with something. I feel that I've really grown personally as a result of being a part of the VHS community.

Leading a small group obviously takes time and commitment. What are some reasons that you continue to lead a group?

I continue to lead a group because God has used small groups throughout my own life to transform and grow me in my own journey as a Christ-follower. I believe that investing in God's people is something that is close to God's heart and something that He desires from each of us. Those are some of the reasons that I continue to lead a group.

What kind of person do you think would make a good small group leader?

Someone who has a willing heart to serve God and care for others.

What words of encouragement would you give to those people?

As a leader, I definitely don't have everything all figured out. With each group that I've been involved in, God continues to teach me a lot about small group leading and what it means to care for and love others. It's not always easy to do life with others and I confess that there are moments that are difficult and challenging. However, I encourage those of you who are sitting on the fence and trying to decide whether or not to lead a group to go for it. It is all worth it. It is worth every second of time and commitment when you are able to walk alongside someone who tells you that they are growing in their walk with God. It is worth it when you can pray for someone in your group who is discouraged or struggling with something in life and see how God answers prayer and blesses their life. It is worth it because in the end, it pleases God when we help people draw closer to Him. I encourage you not to think about what skills or qualities you lack but to think about how God could potentially use you to transform lives for His glory. Sometimes we get so caught up with looking inward at our weaknesses and seeing how inadequate we are that we forget that God is the one who is ultimately "leading the group". We just need to be obedient, open and committed to letting Him use us.

Pictures from our Small Group Leader Family Retreat

Some pics from our retreat time together...

I've always found that there's something special about "getting away". Food tastes better, conversations go deeper, relational connections seem stronger... Our retreat with some small group leaders and their families was no exception.

We enjoyed time together with our families - we played, we hiked, we ate, we ate so more. And we also experienced some "rich" moments of sharing, worship, prayer with one another. Together, we dreamed about what community could look like in our groups and in our church and what that would mean for our own lives and leadership...

One of the questions we asked and continue to process is:

What would it look like if everyone lived in deep community?

One of the commitments we looked at was:

The circles I lead are going to be "circles of community".

Dream together with us what our communities could not just look like but actually become if we made space in our relationships and in our hearts for God...

The Relational Way

I’ve been the Small Groups Pastor at Cornerstone now for almost four years (I’m now the Small Groups and Connections Pastor). And a big part of what I do is champion biblical community and train and work with small group leaders to lead groups that transform lives.

As a practitioner, I do a lot of training, coaching, resourcing, starting up new groups, trouble-shooting... But I’ve also been doing a lot of thinking, reflecting and praying too. I’ve been asking God to teach me more about small groups – what they are, what are their strengths (there are a lot!), what challenges they present, what limitations there are... I’ve been asking the question: Is being in a small group the end goal for people?

Is it enough to have trained leaders, new group opportunities, resources and curriculum, and let’s say 100% of the church participating in a small group?

Or is it possible to have all this in place and still end up missing the mark?

A number of books have challenged and shaped my thinking on small groups recently: Connecting and True Spiritual Community by Larry Crabb, The Search to Belong and Organic Community by Joseph Myers. (Bill Donahue, Henry Cloud, John Townsend and Andy Stanley also have really good material on small groups too.)

And one recent book I’ve read, The Relational Way by Scott Boren has articulated a lot of what I’ve felt to be intuitively true and has provided deeper insights for reflection, thinking and prayer. It basically warns against the trap of thinking that adopting the small group model and getting people to join will in itself change lives and make the church grow.

This year, small group leaders at Cornerstone have already started on a journey to explore, test and interact with these ideas. You can also follow some of the ideas and discussion here on this blog.

Boren sets the stage for the premise of his book in the first chapter by introducing the idea of an operating system. Like a computer operating system, “our life’s operating system dictates how all other programs work.” The idea is that like the air we breathe or like how fish only know life in the water, the operating system or culture of our world shapes how we see small groups and community – often times in ways that aren’t biblical and reflective of Jesus’ teachings.

The culture we live in here is heavily influenced by individualism and pragmatism which strongly shape how we see things (often without us consciously knowing). We see this when well-intentioned people join a small group to help them to grow and develop spiritually (individualism). Or members and leaders looking for strategies and resources to make their groups work and produce results (pragmatism). (Shouldn’t the means of how we do things be consistent with the end goal?)

I know I’ve caught myself more than once talking with people all the while thinking about what I want to get from them or how they can help promote my own agenda. (Does that really reflect the kind of love the Bible describes as sacrificially seeking the interests of others?)

Studying the life of Jesus, we quickly realize that he operated out of a different operating system – what Boren calls the ‘relational way’, or the way of God’s kingdom. Jesus simply related and spent time with people not because of an agenda but because it was a good thing to do.

We were designed and created to be relational beings like God and

the ultimate expression of relating is agape love.

If small groups are not the end but only a means to the end - relational living and life transformation - then we need to learn not just how to do small groups but how to relate.

The church by definition needs to battle the anti-relational system of the world because by its very nature, the church stands for a different way of living and relating that expresses God’s kingdom in contrast to the ways of the world.

I’m personally challenged by the need to lead out of who I am – my character, my willingness to cultivate the kingdom according to patterns that do not reflect the world and the priority I place on relationships - not for the personal benefits [individualism] or the results they might bring [pragmatism]- but simply to relate because we reflect God best when we love.

I believe community is about life transformation as we relate to God and others in deeper ways, according to God's ways. As Boren says, “People change because they have been loved enough by God and others to see an alternative way of living and then move into it.”

Reflection Questions

1. When was the first time you saw something distinct about the way Christ-followers lived? What about that was attractive to you?
2. What ways have you noticed the values of individualism and pragmatism influence your view of community or the church?
3. If it’s true that what we need most is Jesus’ operating system, what challenges do you see in living out a “relational way”? What excites you about that prospect? What would that look like in your life?
   

Would love to hear your thoughts, questions and comments.

Some Reflections: Our Small Group Member Spotlight Series

I’ve shared previously about my small group going through what we call Small Group Member Spotlight. Having been together as a group for years, we all sensed a desire to go deeper – deeper in our sharing, deeper in our conversations, deeper in our relationships – with God and with each other, deeper in our accountability – basically we were seeking to experience in deeper ways the life Jesus offers when he says, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” (John 10:10) We believe that life is experienced together in community.

God can certainly lead us to deeper places through any number of ways. Perhaps you’ve taken this journey with your community through studying God’s Word, or serving together or worshipping together, or praying together and for each other and for those beyond your group.

Our group decided to spend a season sharing our life stories with each other – our defining moments, testimonies, successes, struggles, life lessons. Some passed around pictures, some used PowerPoint, some read from their journals or poetry they had written, some brought props, some like me ‘just’ shared. Sometimes there was great laughter at a particular joke or story. Sometimes there were tears as people opened up their hearts to us and we could see God in their lives – sometimes in their strength but usually in their vulnerability and weakness. We interacted, we asked questions, we offered encouragement, we prayed...

For me, this ‘experiment’ has been eye-opening. Through preparing my own story, I was confronted with themes in my life. I’ve seen how the deep desires God had placed in my heart early in my life – to want to live a life of significance and character, to want to make the world a better place, eventually led me to Jesus. Funny how even now, those same desires have at times led me to places of suffering, disappointment, doubt and fear. They've led me to the Jesus who died on the cross to give me life and invites me to carry my own cross to experience that life(Mark 8:34-38). And though I'm usually slow to see it at the time, looking back, these are usually the times I experience God most deeply and my desires become more refined, stronger, more mature I'd like to think if I hang on – not easy though! Probably why God designed it so I would need His help and the help of others...

Through hearing the stories of others, what stood out was the uniqueness of each person. Their stories, experiences, personalities, callings and gifts all point to a God who creates us uniquely to reflect something about God in a way no other person can (Gen 1:27). Each person experienced God in a unique and different way - they worship God, serve God, pray to God, and reflect God in ways they’ve been uniquely created for. And although each life is unique, I believe each story gave glory and honour to God by allowing His life to be seen in us through our stories.

Time and confidentiality prevent me from sharing more specifically about this. But among all the joys and highlights, I take perhaps the greatest hope and encouragement in seeing Life Transformation happen in the lives of ordinary small group members. To know people over years and see God change hearts, see people embrace their gifts and calling, see people work through old habits and learn new and better ways of living. To see how we are all supporting characters in the stories in a plot that God is continuing to unfold, to know that someone was blessed because of our friendships, our encouragement and our love, to grasp the truth that somehow in God’s mysterious ways, somehow we all played a part in the Life Transformation process of others – does it really get better than that? Wouldn't you want to be a part of that as well?

My small group members asked me to post some reflections on our Spotlight Time together.

• I’d invite them to share their own perspective of this experience.
• I’d also invite you to share your own thoughts, experiences and questions as we explore this AMAZING, LIFE-GIVING, FRUSTRATING, but WORTHWHILE gift we call spiritual community.

Last week, we finished our first-ever (but hopefully not the last) Small Group Member Spotlight time together. Next week, it’s a time of closure and celebration with something even more "spiritual" - a sushi-rolling, dumpling-making party and social evening! If anything eventful happens, I’ll let you know...

"Tell me your story..."

I once heard a great description of discipleship:

“I tell you my story, you tell me your story –

and over time, our stories should look more like God’s story.”

I love that! I love the idea that spiritual growth is personal but also communal. I love how God’s over-arching story of redemption and re-creation is the context in which we as Christ-followers are living into, every day - how's God's story is the backdrop of our own story. I love that we grow more as we tell our stories and learn about God’s story together.

My small group is doing a bit of an experiment. We’ve been meeting for about four years now. We have fun together, we serve each other, we learn about God together, we encourage and pray for each other as various members take significant leaps of faith in their journey. We have meals together, we study Bible-based curriculum, we discuss, we pray, we share, we serve together, we get together socially - but we feel like we still want more...

Have you ever felt like that about your small group? I hope so. Because like God, we were created to be relational beings. In fact most of our spiritual growth can be described by the term relational. Love one another, accept one another, forgive one another, encourage one another, speak truth in love to one another... We were designed to grow and reach our maximum spiritual potential when we’re living out the one-anothers – basically, when we’re living and growing in community with the help of the perfect community of Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

Have you ever noticed that it’s harder to live out the one-anothers when you don’t really know one another though? I’m not talking about what we do for a living, the cars we drive, or our taste in food or movies. I’m talking about really knowing each other’s stories – defining moments that have shaped our values, people who have helped guide us to make critical life decisions, things we’ve learned in our successes and our failures...

Are there people in your life, even in your small group that you’ve known for a long time but are embarrassed about your lack of knowledge of their key stories – like what it was like for them growing up, how their spiritual journey has unfolded, what their hopes and dreams are...

We as a group made a commitment that we would make it a group priority to really get to know one another. This would be our curriculum for a season - the content of our study would be the stories of our lives. (More accurately, we're studying the stories God is writing in our lives.)

So we started in the summer as we were wrapping up a DVD curriculum we were studying. Each group meeting would start with one question each person would be prepared to share about as we had dinner. The questions went like: “Talk about one person who’s had a big impact in your life” or “What word would you use to describe yourself” – that kind of thing.

When we started meeting again in the fall, we tried what we called “Small Group Member Spotlight”. The idea is each meeting would be dedicated to having three people spend about thirty minutes sharing stories or scenes from their life: defining moments, critical people, lessons, values, etc. We wanted to know “what has been, what is, and what can be when a person is free to dream into the future.”

After that time would follow questions and comments by other group members and concluded with a time of prayer celebrating that group member.

We’ve had only one of these meetings so far, but it was incredible! As stories were told, there were tears, laughter, nods of affirmation... People shared their stories, people brought in show-in-tell items, one member likened eras of their life to certain cartoon characters (colour images were printed on boards and brought in as props!)

Those who shared said that preparing for their sharing helped them to see God in their lives as they hadn’t seen before. Those who listened felt a closeness as they got a better glimpse into each person’s heart. In any case we are ALL blessed because God showed up in each of our stories - imagine that! Our community is richer, stronger and deeper for the experience.

I’ve been reminded again about the simplicity of the power of telling our stories. How well do you know the stories of your small group members? How do you encourage story telling in your small group? Do you ever find that curriculum and agendas can get in the way of knowing each other?

I’ll let you discern God’s wisdom about how to approach this in your small group – I’d be happy to talk more with you about it and brainstorm. But here, I’m only sharing what our small group tried and learned. I’ll end with this excerpt:

“A story-centered small group can offer us new perspectives on our lives, helping us become more aware of themes we hadn’t noticed and areas of hope that may have been buried. We know from Scripture we are called to love one another, which implies community, and it is in the loving that others know we are God’s beloved. The invitation to love in groups is not a sugar-coated, positive thinking kind of love. It is love that is willing to sit in places of grief and doubt, to wrestle alongside others as they struggle with God, and to celebrate moments of goodness, forgiveness, and joy with one another. Love embodied in these ways transforms broken hearts and heals fragmented lives.” (Heather Webb, Small Group Leadership as Spiritual Direction)

What are some experiences, thoughts or ideas you have about story telling?

Why Community?

Hi guys,

This is actually my first time 'blogging' and my very first 'post' on this blog or any blog for that matter... here goes! :)

Anyway, my hope for this blog is to have a conversation with you about spiritual community - what that means and what that looks like in our lives and in our small groups. I think this is a vital issue because as Christ-followers, we are called to live into our identity as the people of God. Something special, something unique and distinct should characterize our relationships and our small groups. When we get together in the name of Jesus, He is there (Mt. 18:23). His very presence is with us!

The implications of this promise for our small groups are huge! The question is, are our small groups communities that gather in the name of Jesus? Are our communities safe places to be real? Can we share our weaknesses? Can we accept people where they're at without feeling the need to judge them or change them? Do we encourage each other to seek God as the authoritative voice for every decision? Do we speak the truth to each other in love, challenging and loving each other to become who God wants us to be? Do we approach differences and conflict like the world does or like Jesus, whose love and forgiveness through the cross reconciled us to our Heavenly Father, and consequently to each other, as brothers and sisters in Christ? Is there something special about our relationships that attracts others?

I've led and been part of many small groups. There've been times when God has seemed so present - when breakthroughs are made in a Bible study, when prayers are answered, when sharing is vulnerable, when members make good (but tough) decisions with the wisdom and support of the group, when people are cared for, when groups have fun...

But there've also been times when God has seemed less present - when group members no-show, when sharing is superficial, when people don't seem to care about their spiritual growth, when small group meetings feel like, well, 'meetings', when conflicts aren't addressed and worked through...

I've come to realize that God is the one who creates community when He shows up, even in the often messy and frustrating context of our lives and our relationships.

"The serious Christian, set down for the first time in a Christian community, is likely to bring with him a very definite idea of what Christian life together should be and to try to realize it. But God's grace speedily shatters such dreams. Just as surely as God desires to lead us to a knowledge of genuine Christian fellowship, so surely must we be overwhelmed by a great disillusionment with others, with Christians in general, and, if we are fortunate, with ourselves. By sheer grace, God will not permit us to live even for a brief period in a dream world. He does not abandon us to those rapturous experiences and lofty moods that come over us like a dream. God is not a God of the emotions but the God of truth... He who loves his dream of community more than the Christian community itself becomes a destroyer of the latter, even though his personal intentions may be ever so honest and earnest and sacrificial. " - Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together

I'm glad you're connected in this very special gift that God has given us - His spiritual community. If you're a small group leader or member who believes there's something more in this life for you, for your relationships, and for the world I believe you're in for an adventure. I believe God wants to take you on a journey not just to discover but to experience what life with Him and together with His people can really be!

Let's go on this journey together!

Jeremy